Absence Makes The Heart Grow...Colder?

Raise your hand if you've been in a long distance relationship.
-raises hand-
Now, raise your hand if you believe long distance relationships CAN work.
-raises hand-
Why do people feel like they can't? I mean I know that the normal relationship is hard enough, without adding having to schedule in trips to see somebody but if you feel like he/she is really worth it, why not? Especially if we're talking about neighboring city long distance relationships. I've been in a few long distance relationships...one a Dayton/Cincinnati, one a Dayton/Toledo, && one a Texas/Ohio [[I know, Texas is far as the feezy right?]]. Now, none of them failed because of the distance per say, but inevitably it was probably a factor. Two of the afore mentioned gentlemen cheated on me. [[I love when people think that I'm not gonna find out because you live in a different city/state. You don't know who I know. Believe me, I'll find out. Every time.]] And the 3rd...well he's just selfish. Imagine this. You've been dating for over a year and half. You only stayed in the same city for about 4 months of this whole relationship mind you, even though you had plans on coming back. Once you decided you weren't going back, it was already past a year into the relationship. But all of the sudden the relationship isn't working? I know you had your heart set on us being together in the same city, but if what we have right now is working, and our relationship is still solid, intracity or not, why would you be willing to throw all of that away? I need to do whats best for me. If you can't support me trying to better myself, then do you really love me like you say you do? I supported you when you had a war with your parents and got your silly ass kicked out on the streets...I even found you a place to stay! You say you wanna marry me, but you can't work through another year or so of staying 45-50 minutes away from me? I don't understand. You've already BEEN doing this. So why stop now?
Maybe its because people throw the word "love" around too loosely. I may be 20 but I know how I feel and I know if I'm in love with you or not. I was never that girl "in lust" with someone new every week. If I'm with you, I'm with you and I'm ridin for you. It is what it is. If you're mad because you thought we were gonna be living together, then you need to re-evaluate things brotha. Shoot, cuz if I ever shacked up before I graduated, my parents would surely stop paying my tuition, and I'm cool on that! hahaha. No seriously tho. I mean, if you are only staying an hour away, and you truely love this person, wouldn't you just keep on working it out like you have been for the past year and some? Maybe I just love too hard. I guess thats why the relationship failed.....Until next time.

Why Can't We Be Friends?

Personally, I keep very few females in my inner circle. They are grimey, drama-ridden, etc etc etc. So with that, I have a lot of male friends. It's something I bring to the attention of any man that tries to get at me, at the beginning of the courtship. If you can't handle that, then we can't be together. The guys in my life that I say are just friends, are exactly that, just friends. So why is it that people think men and women can't be friends? Why can't I be friends with my ex? He is my past [[PAST]] and the romantic part of our relationship is done and over. There are obviously qualities about him that I liked since I dated him, so if we ended on good terms, why wouldn't I want to remain friends? And why, as my boyfriend, should that bother you? If I put everything out in the open why do you have anything to be worried about? If there are no signs that its anything more than a friendship, what does it matter?

Is it your personal insecurities that make you wary of the other gentleman in my life? Do you not trust me? Or is that you don't trust them....? I always say that if you don't trust them, you don't trust me. I trust them because I'm friends with them, and I feel like they respect our relationship, so that should be enough for you. As a man, do you want to get at every female in your life? And if you did think she was bad when you 1st met her, and you found out she was just cool as hell, you left at that right? So why can't it be the same thing for me?

I just prefer to kick it with men because for the most part they are so laid back. The ones I keep in my life are spectacular and they keep me laughing when I'm sad. They put a finger under my chin and lift my head up when I'm disappointed. They are there to listen when whoever I'm dating pisses me off. Personally, I'm a nigga at heart sometimes. Me and my best friend have always said that about ourselves, especially because we were dummy tomboys in our younger years. We run, hang, and cut people up with the best of them. So I like to be around people who are on my level, and that just happens to be dudes for the most part. I like to get their opinion on things and their perspectives on whats happening with whomever or whatever. Is that a crime? Apparently.

Not like you..just like ME

Soooo Jamie Foxx's new song "Just Like Me". Catchy lil tune. I can dig it. But it made me think. I say this all conceitedness aside, the few females I choose to keep around me are bad, and I know that. Listening to this song, just the chorus alone, made me think of my ladies.

You’re just like me
Shorty all up in the club
Popping bottles of that Bud
Giving all them dudes hugs

That last line especially. I mean I can't even count how many times we've gotten mugged because we gave some nigga in the club a hug, like back back lady it ain't even that serious. But I'm sayin all that to say this...to the men in my life...could you REALLY handle a female who's just like you? I mean, men hold women to double standards a lot, and don't even realize it. It's ok for you to look at that chick's ass as she walks by but if I smile at a dude you get mad? No, no my brotha! Me && my girl Champ were havin a convo once about men in our lives who are friends, and they act JUST alike relationship wise. Their problem is that dudes try to get at us all the time and they don't like it, as if we can help that. Her friend went as far to tell her that she's boring, not that bad, and her swag is lame. But he's gettin all emotional on her, mad at her, and STILL tryin to wife her. Why would you get mad if dudes are tryin to get at your girl, as long as it doesn't escalate? Wouldn't you want a bad chick? I mean seriously though, if you think I'm cute, that means someone else will. Its not as if I walk around with a sign on my forehead sayin "get at me!!!" At the same time, females are just as thirsty as dudes these days and try to get at dudes whether they have a girl or not. So I'm gonna get mad because a female thought you were fine, or liked your swag? I KNOW you're fine and I KNOW you have a raw swag cuz I'm with you, talking to you, whatever the case may be. However, if you knew I was in the club or wherever talkin to dudes the way you talk to females when I'm not around would you be ok with that? If I flash "that" smile at a dude the way you drop a line to a chick, would you really be able to handle that? How many men are really ready to handle a chick with game, word swag I like to call it, cuz I don't play games. And with that.....Until next time.

I am getting so hot, I wanna take my robe off

My cousin IMed me yesterday, told me to watch this video. I click on the link, look at the title and I'm like whaaaa? These old ass white people..opening up with Eminem.It's kind of hard to hear in the beginning so turn it up, but the longer the video goes on, the funnier it gets. They hit Outkast [[hey fellas whats colder than bein cold?]] some Pussycat Dolls [[edited version of course, but I wish they would have said the actual version bc it would have been much funnier]] and even a choral version of Chamillionaire and MC Hammer [[can't touch this]]. But the best is the last and final song, Nelly's "Hot in Herre". The proceed to sing the song and...well. Watch it. Until next time.

Play Better

If she walks past you, better glance twice
Her walk stops traffic and her accent sounds just as nice
Must come correct with the verb, her presence is double the price
Ladies watch and admire, wishing they had the skill
Fellas take notice and give respect, late night dreaming erupting of that thrill
She embodies the knowledge of Mr. Jones
The hustlers swagger of Mr. Carter
The business ethnic of Mr. Combs
Coming up she caught a few losses
Brushed if off and returnedOn to crush the pride of the big bosses
Her demeanor is fearless, leaving foes breathless
Watch jaws drop as she brokers multi-million dollar deals
Even under pressure she doesn’t drip sweat
Even after she’s gone, they wonder who’s gonna fill her heels
She represents the single mothers, the determined sisters
Making those chess moves since her career goals must be fulfilled.
Continuing to smash barriers, because for second place she’s reaching up the ladder
2008 brought us the first black president, years later she’ll get her shine
Because she just proved that women can play the game better.

--thanks Derek. =] This piece that my wonderful brother wrote and something I'm writing will soon be formed together as an orgasm for your ears. Until next time.

I thought about you

I thought about you when I saw "The Wood" in my DVD collection. "Let's play this game for life! Mackin, hangin...mackin, hangin!"
I thought about you when I saw my wristband from American Idol. Ahhh Louisville, good times! =]
I thought about you when I heard Little Brother on the mix cd you made me before we went to their concert.
I thought about you when Carl Thomas came on a mix cd I was listening to....because the next part of my thought process was Ralph Transvant. you know!
I thought about you when I saw Love and Basketball on tv. "Shawnee Easton....Shawnee Easton...with the big ass tittties!!" I thought about you when I drove past the Home Depot. We don't love the 'Po!!I thought about you when "Holiday Heart" came on tv once...obviously because you're gay as the feezy. I mean really...el em ay oh!
I thought about you when I put on my Martino's jeans yesterday. Aw Grey's Anatomy and then Martino's. Every week freshmen year!
I thought about you when I was shining my tiara because you keep trying to touch it. Back back lady, that was 2 years ago!
I thought about you when me && Twin talked about the 1st time we met. Bad times, lol. Glad we're ride or dies now!
I thought about you when I found the letter you asked me out in, in like 8th grade, hahaha yea I still have it.
I thought about you when I saw our love child on Facebook that you left me with!! Dead beat! haha
I thought about you when I saw a WWJD bracelet. Throwback!!



Did I think about you lately?

In The Beginning

There was a young lady born on June 23, 1988. Her parents named her LaChandra Marie.

LaChandra meaning eminent–adjective 1.high in station, rank, or repute; prominent;distinguished

illustrious-adjective 1.highly distinguished; renowned; famous

Continuing on, now a days she's usally referred to as Shani. Miss Shani if you like. God is her number 1. A lover of all things music, specifically R&B, she sings ALL the time.

A biology major with a pre-med track she aspires to be a pediatrician. She's always cracking jokes but can be pretty sarcastic, so please don't take offense! She's a passionate lover and a very sincere friend.

Enough about her for now though...what about you? =)